Families in East Asia are considered to be perfect when men look after the family’s finances, women look after the kitchen and children and the elders(mostly men) take the major family decisions. The circumstances of perfection have changed a little bit as we see men changing baby diapers and cutting vegetables, women working outside the home and making money, and elders considering the opinion of other younger family members. But the major responsibility of kitchen and children goes to the women no matter how hard they work the whole day. This is the major issue which female activists have been raising now and then. Today I am not here to put my views upon this cliche topic though it’s important because all of you have been doing that time and again. For now, let's talk about men and the by birth duties that have been prescribed to them so that we might be able to find the route of equality for both men and women.
It is unjust to hand over the major financial responsibility of a family to the male member of the house. It is miserable to know there are several families around us where the man is supposed to pay the school fees, buy the groceries, pay the electricity bills, etc. even when his wife has a fine income. But what is more pathetic is that the men have subconsciously accepted themselves as the utmost economic pillars of the family. Their minds are filled with the horrible idea that their menage will have pitiful situations, become beggars, and starve till death without their money.
People are used to calling women delicate creatures but when you look at men, they look equally fragile. The only difference is that men have been taught to show the world that they are bold and strong no matter what. Their feelings and emotions have been subdued for centuries as patriarchy has been stabbing them from behind. I agree that the suppression is different from that of women but it does not mean that it is any less severe. Men are obliged to make money and fulfill each and every necessity of every family member. Why is he not given the opportunity to choose his way of living but pushed into the obvious task of making money? He might have deep desires to cook, clean, and look after his children. He might want to sit in the next seat while his wife drives the car. He might want to wait for his life partner to come home from work to make a warm tea in her delight. Has this thought ever crossed your mind? If not then would you mind taking a minute in analyzing this major inequality that has been deep-rooted in our mentality?
Many different conclusions can be made on this issue. The main agenda is to think that, is it just the societal obligation/subconscious responsibility that compels men to earn for the family rather than babysitting? Is there the existence of something like men's ego? Does he want to be superior to his woman by being the major financial supporter? Is it that hard for him to digest the fact that the family has been surviving on his wife’s income? Does it feel good to be served first at the dining table despite all the hatred that he has for his job? So many questions are left unanswered because the answer lies within ourselves. All we need to do is take a glance at it without any excuses.
I think men should take the first step towards their real freedom, the way women have been fighting for their liberation. There are many females who have been working at home and at the office but still kept away from making the main financial contributor to the family. For the men who are scared to take any step in making his wife the leader in the family: Taking your lady’s entire salary and making your kids come to you for their needs makes you less of a father or husband and more of a cowardly creature. For the women who are too lazy and lack self-respect: making excuses and surviving entirely on your husband’s hard-earned money which includes your shopping and parties makes you less of a woman and more of a parasite. Providing the opportunity of taking charge of the major economic responsibility to the female who is willing and daring to do that will not only help her become more confident and powerful but also provide men freedom of pursuing their incomplete dreams without worrying about finance. Moreover, several other men and women can follow the trail that is left by you and your spouse.
Shoutout to all the women and men out there who are breaking the barriers of patriarchy.
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