As I never liked plans [my logic:plans generate expectations and expectations always hurts], I surprised him with my message to meet me which he would have never thought of. Although he took time to see me, I could feel the eagerness in him to meet me, in his replies.
Fear, excitement, courage, nervousness were the mixed emotions that were flowing within me while I was waiting for him. Finally the two months of patience (i met him on social media two months back but i can never accept that this soul never knew that soul before those months) bore fruit and he was there in front of me, in his white car, formally dressed. We shook hands, his hands felt warm.
I couldn’t deny that my hands trembled to have him near me at the very moment. He took me to his office, we entered in, he locked the door, my heart sank in fear. It was my trust in him that drove me to him but if my trust failed I thought my self-defense techniques would work. (I congratulated me for forcing myself to learn self-defense). There are moments in life when we have to decide if we’re going to jump from the cliff to have adventurous stories to tell when we’re old.
It was that instant for me and I thanked God for giving me a Parachute. Parachute in a sense that the guy who appeared to be tough, self-centered and freaky was someone totally different in real. His innocent eyes resembled the purity that he had in his heart. Someone so lovable sat just next to me. I wanted to time-travel space, bring the button of time and stop it for forever (which was not possible ). For the first time in life I kept no guilt to keep someone in my heart, knowing that he had so such feelings for me. The only thing that stressed me was an ashtray (his habit of smoking makes me worry) which was in the table just in front of my eyes. For some reasons I couldn’t be the real me but he also wasn’t the real him (over sweetness in him made me feel that). In spite of our imperfections, life seemed so perfect,…so flawless. I had never imagined that Saturday’s could be so lively yet everything was dying .
I learned an important lesson that day: If you’re not willing to take a risk, you should challenge yourself. I did challenge myself and lived my life for once and for forever. (memories got stored ,never to be deleted). We deviated in our own directions as nothing was to be forever. Sometimes not the spoken words but the silences of the tranquility are heard better.