Nothing in the universe would have stopped me from playing those piled up memories of the past in my messed up stereo(brain).Not even the chilling cold of February made any senses to my skin.
The snow was falling upon my body ,changing my black overcoat to the white one.I got totally lost as if i was a living mannequin(though i was dying inside).
…….that was the time of…..,Well,i guess the most beautiful feeling in the world ; people call it love And i call it “my RED”.Yes ‘RED’! the color that i used to loathe was becoming my favorite while on the other side he was turning from an stranger to my priority.I was unaware that the most beautiful feelings might come up with most destructive marks of life.My meetups with him was followed by just a small ‘hi'(eyes spoke a lot though) in the beginning to the several hours endless talks.I purposely dressed red whenever i met him.To be sincere ,i didn’t require my eyes to fall in love with him.This was beyond the comparison of so called childish love(teenage attraction) where they fall and get up and then again fall.(nonsense).I haven’t raised up since i have fallen; never wanted to;never dared to;………………………….
…….I still remember..That was the night of full moon when moon shone bright orange(almost red)..The angels from heaven seemed to have noticed a girl lost in her imagination facing the moon through her (me) windows.In the meanwhile,the phone vibrated twice.
He messaged :”hey! my moon”..
“night is magical my love.let me steal you.”
He seemed romantic.I didn’t stopped myself to furnish his emotions with my soulful words which eventually made both of us forget the real world,forget everything but us.He kept on explaining how he’d hold me close to his heart and hug me and be with me through my thick and thins.Just say ;we were head over heels in love with each other .
i asked :”what would u do if i was there just next to u right now?”
He in no time replied:”U know what.I would just hold you close and feel you.i would do nothing else..your presence is the most magical thing in the world .i love you my love and they’re not just words .i mean it.”
This was completely an unexpected reply by the person who always had the fever of sex in his head.It was his honesty that made me love him crazily.Of course he wasn’t a perfect guy like every girl imagines of but however he was ,he was true and that was enough for him to be my worst distraction ,my stimulus,my medication.Yes the magic existed at that night.Everything seemed beautiful.i turned speechless,text_less.
He messaged again:”You are like RED color to me .”I had no words to reply back but we managed to chat unless we fell asleep without any “goodnight or sweet dreams” because we wanted to.
…..I was at that stage of life where hell sounded sound.I don’t get any words that fits this worst feeling of being unwanted and unloved.IN the cafe :: watching the same person with same beards,same black hair,same clean skin ,same lips,but with changed priority from me to her,made me think that “even the sun sets in paradise so what were we to be forever!!”It felt as if some sharp needle was piercing my nerves ,my whole body.As soon as i realized this was not the scene in front that was hurting me ,the image was blur.My body was frozen with cold .I was even unable to shiver.I fell down in front of the cafe; helpless,scattered.Everything was blank.Blank but RED.(not black).